His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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