Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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