I cut my penus on the lid.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
