it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
