I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
