is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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