We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize