oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
