Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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