dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
