so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
