So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she peed on how many people?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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