im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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