so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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