for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Still dying that you shit outside
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.