just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died