Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.

(540): View more from Virginia

I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.

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(540): I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up. (540) I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid. http://tfl.nu/obhg

Replies (20) Good night (3633) Bad night (499)
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(+44): View more from England

if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

(+44): View more from England

keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

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(+44): if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed (+44): keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction http://tfl.nu/lbnu

Replies (18) Good night (4473) Bad night (462)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.

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(804): Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift. http://tfl.nu/sb1j

Replies (17) Good night (608) Bad night (2226)
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(937): View more from Ohio

love makes seman taste better

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(937): love makes seman taste better http://tfl.nu/bxjy

Replies (37) Good night (4571) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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(559): View more from California

The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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(559): The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway. http://tfl.nu/e3fd

Replies (7) Good night (2526) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.

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(602): I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during. http://tfl.nu/nbdy

Replies (3) Good night (1981) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.

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(916): when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas. http://tfl.nu/o5tw

Replies (13) Good night (969) Bad night (2779) Order T-Shirt
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(740): View more from Ohio

Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.

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(740): Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow. http://tfl.nu/oilf

Replies (11) Good night (1306) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
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(706): View more from Georgia

Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.

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(706): Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with. http://tfl.nu/r42s

Replies (13) Good night (2544) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?

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(407): Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy? http://tfl.nu/b8mt

Replies (3) Good night (1576) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?

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(210): I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you? http://tfl.nu/lbmm

Replies (5) Good night (1121) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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(864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu

Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast

(480): View more from Arizona

I'm so there

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(602): The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast (480): I'm so there http://tfl.nu/rimu

Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (141)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo

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(703): The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo http://tfl.nu/r2ud

Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (237)
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(845): View more from New York

The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us

(845): View more from New York

I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god

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(845): The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us (845): I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god http://tfl.nu/vq2q

Replies (1) Good night (771) Bad night (122)

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