gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Boobs speak an international language.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.