My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes