I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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