dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
