It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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