But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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