Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
