I skipped work to stalk him.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Randomize
