i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
do nipples grow back?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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