My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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