Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
