did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
