He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize