the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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