Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
