I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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