Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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