Pappa wants mamma naked
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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