It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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