So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
