people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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