he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
