She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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