At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize