is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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