I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
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saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
this is an emotional support booty call
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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