May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
