I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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