i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
