he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
