Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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