I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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