Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
