what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
