Someone shit on the floor
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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