he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
