Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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