i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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