I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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