saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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