doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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