i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize