My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
