I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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