i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
