Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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