I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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