i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
