You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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