so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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