And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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