Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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