Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
