Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
