just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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