so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You pole danced in your parka.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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