Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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