So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
