I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
