Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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