Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
