The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
